Why God Would Never Receive Tenure

9/22/2012 DK 0 Comments

From Edudemic
If God were a professor at a university, he or she didn’t really do much to earn tenure. In fact, there are more than a dozen ways that tenure will likely remain out of God’s grasp. From holding office hours on the top of a mountain to not publishing enough books, it’s not looking good.
The following was posted by a student’s former statistics teacher on his Facebook wall. It was then shared via Reddit and is purely for amusement and not meant to offend in any way.
  1. He had only one major publication.
  2. It was in Hebrew.
  3. It had no references.
  4. It wasn't published in a refereed journal.
  5. Some even doubt he wrote it himself.
  6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then?
  7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
  8. The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
  9. He never applied to the Ethics Board for permission to use human subjects.
  10. When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.
  11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.
  12. He rarely came to class, just told students to read the book.
  13. Some say he had his son teach the class.
  14. He expelled his first two students for learning.
  15. Although there were only ten requirements, most students failed his tests.
  16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountaintop.

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